The Palin Solution

I was reading Shannyn Moore's post about Sarah Palin's run-in with a couple of locals in Homer, AK when I stumbled upon a solution to the issue of Mrs. Palin running in 2012 (although honestly I'm secretly hoping she runs so I can be watching when the whole thing comes undone). You see Sarah was in Homer filming for her upcoming 8-part pseudo-documentary "Sarah Palin's Alaska" on Discovery networks TLC.

When I first heard that Sarah "Drill-baby-drill" Palin landed a nature show on Discovery I thought it was 'Opposite Day'. When I found out Discovery's new COO Peter Liguori came from Fox just last December I realized it was 'More Of The Same Day'. I can only suspect they'll follow this up with 'Strom Thurmond's History of Civil Rights' or 'Karl Rove's Cavalcade of Nobel Peace Prize Recipients'.

There was a time when the initials TLC stood for The Learning Channel but slowly over the last decade or so the channel dropped the edutainment programming and went for a line-up with more 'mass appeal'. Nowadays the channel is the home of a host of overly large families ('Jon & Kate Plus 8', '17 Kids And Counting'), little people ('Little People, Big World', 'Little Chocolatiers') and a collection of people with dysfunctional families, police women and their staple daytime standards of weddings and babies.

So, here was Sarah Palin in tiny Homer, Alaska setting the hooks for halibut and taunting the Democrats from afar. I'm sure she was having a grand old time rubbing elbows with the locals, or at least rubbing elbows with her hired security thugs who were busy patting down the locals who came onto the docks, when she ran across a local teacher named Kathleen Gustafson. Kathleen's husband runs a fishing business on the docks and he'd help her hang a homemade 30-foot banner that read 'WORST GOVERNOR EVER' on his shack. The Palin's weren't amused.

One of Palin's daughters taunted at the Gustafson's "You're and A-hole" and then "You're just jealous". Ah, there's those fine mother grizzly family values. What a lovely brood of children you've got there, ma'am.

But that's when it hit me. Palin doesn't want to be the POTUS - she wants to be a celebrity! She's geared toward teleprompters and scripted conversations captured on camera. She was a journalism major who dreamed of being a sportscaster, even going so far as to name her daughter after the city where ESPN's headquarters are located.

So I can't wait for Sarah's new show to start. I'm going to watch every moment on all the TVs in my home and record it on my DVR. I'm petitioning to get a Nielsen box in my house. I need each and every one of you to join me. If we get her ratings high enough maybe they'll sign her to a long term contract and prevent her from running for office.

After all, we're all just jealous, aren't we?